• Louise Southam

Surrender to Trust

It’s Sunday and I’m sat in a kids play area, the volume is one I cannot turn down, unfortunately. I am surrounded by screaming children, who are expressing themselves in a way that suits them, without any filters. I have classical music playing in my earphones to lessen the volume of the high pitched screams and tantrums as parents scoop up the resistant children who are told their time is up. I sip herbal tea and notice I am at peace.

It’s been many, many months since I have written a blog, I have had a block and each time I start to write I get the little voice saying ‘ that’s just not good enough Louise’, so, I delete, delete, delete and shut my laptop. Yet here I am today, in the most unconventional of writing places, feeling that I will just write and see what emerges. I reflect on why I have been telling myself I am blocked, and where has this block shown up in other areas of my life. How have I created this so called stuck state?

Last week I spent two days immersed in one of my NLP events, these are nothing like a classroom set up with PowerPoint slides, instead it is an opportunity to go deep within and ask many powerful questions. The one that resonates is “What are you choosing to tell yourself that you don’t know, that you know?”. Exactly, that fries the brain. Yet it is true, we do know the answers to all of our questions, we just choose whether we tune in or drown out. A bit like I am doing now with the noise around me.

What became very quickly apparent was that I had become my own block, that I was using my very busy work life, which it beautifully is, as an excuse for not getting on and writing my book, or sending out those requests to the successful CEO’s that I would like to interview, or put myself ‘out there’ on podcasts or Vlogs. When I asked myself that question, the answer was fear. I was scared that I would be judged, that I would be laughed at and that I would be rejected – that old limiting belief had made a stealth-like return. So instead, I stayed quite comfortable in my ‘stuck state’, right at the centre of my comfort zone. And we all know that growth only happens when we are brave enough to go outside of it. The two days continued on and there were opportunities to explore limiting beliefs, and to tap into your identity connecting it with an avatar…mine emerged as the blue tall Avatar from the film, the one that has inner strength, who watches over others with wisdom and love. I believe I already bring this to my workshops, to my 1:1 sessions and I hope, to all the people whose lives I touch each day.

Through all of the exercises, each had a profound effect on me, yet the one that shook me the most was discovering how my Core Loss, which we all have, has manifested itself. I now have an insight that the belief of ‘nice men leave’, contributes to why I have been single for a number of years. Whilst externally I want to meet a kind, strong, harmonious man; at an unconscious level, I believe he will leave. Wow. Powerful. I have already changed that to a new empowering belief of ‘nice men stay’ and I have some work to do to collect evidence of where I have seen that to be true, outside of my own life. This is what I call transformational.

The two days sadly came to an end and I left with my declarations and three commitments and a ‘partner’ to be accountable to. I’ve already invited my first CEO and I’m writing this blog, which I will post. And whilst the feeling of fear is still present, there, I accept it. I am surrendering to trust and by doing that, I am creating more opportunities for growth in all aspects of my life.

I finish this with a question for you to ask yourself. ‘How do you discover what you know, that you are choosing not to know?’. Now take some deep breaths, breathing in through your heart and trust that the answer that comes up is your truth and what ever it is saying to you, listen because you really do know the answers to all your questions. Dance with your fears, they are just a gift of awareness to help you move forward. I invite you to try what I am doing, to surrender yourself to trust, it’s liberating not knowing the outcome, instead, enjoy the ride to wherever it is you’re going.

I've surrendered! - Happy Sunday!

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