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  • Louise Southam

Pressure, Prosecco and being single at Christmas


As a transformational coach, my role is to be a model of positivity, to lead the way in how to shift your mind to what you do want, rather than what you don’t want. I do this for myself, I live this way and truly believe that we can all create the life we desire. Well, most of the time.

Yesterday I was human! I am a single mum and approaching my third Christmas without a significant other. I woke up with anticipation of seeing my ‘special friend’, the one singleton’s often have, that you see sporadically. You get to remember what it is like to be kissed and for a few hours, recall what someone else’s flesh feels like. Yes, this was a festive moment I was looking forward to. Right up until the text arrived to say there was a delay and in an instant, the flesh, the kiss, the ‘special friend’ had evaporated. So why did this have such an effect on me? I’m not in love and I am very happy in my single life…yet here I was, feeling vulnerable, alone and suddenly sad. Why?

I reached for my emergency first aid kit, my phone…I sat in the car park outside Waitrose with my free coffee and text my other single mummy friend for some sympathy and a rant about the ‘special friend’, and received an immediate invite for a real hug. I arrived, coffee intact and stood in her kitchen reflecting on why was I so sad, this was a minor setback, so why was I feeling this way. And then we discovered the truth. Being single at Christmas! If I hear another radio advert pronouncing some sing song tune about buying a loved one a ring, or Pandora advertising the latest charm for a bracelet or even the incredible advert that involves badgers, foxes and squirrels, I’ll scream. My dear friend pointed out that it’s as though we are failing at Christmas because we don’t have a man in our life, the sheepskin rug is not laid out lovingly in front of the fire, with the half naked man holding a glass of champagne and donning a magnificent chest and a twinkle in his eye. Instead, we have hyped up children, fighting over a box, demanding yet another chocolate off the tree and all we want to do is head for the Prosecco in the fridge! But it’s only 10am so way too early.

The rant and the hug helped enormously and the real difference was acknowledging that we are single, that we do juggle so much with work and children, that yes, we miss having a ‘significant other’, yet like dogs, we don’t want a man for Christmas, we want him for life.

I met my client later that day in a hotel foyer for a change, I had not shared with her how my day started, yet at the end of our session I did mention as we were about to leave that it would be nice to meet someone next year, I was ready. Within 10 minutes, two glasses of champagne arrived at our table, delivered by an older gentleman who pronounced that he had a happy life and wanted to treat us to a glass to celebrate Christmas. We thanked him profusely, were completely taken back by such an act of kindness and he nodded his head, smiled and left. I smiled, I felt this was sent as a message to me to keep my faith and belief that my Mr. Right is coming my way. He is.

So ladies, whether you’re single or you know single ladies this Christmas, remember that life is a gift, embrace each moment and live each day as though it were your last. And when you look under your tree that seems bereft of presents from a significant other….remember that you don’t have to share your Prosecco! Then, head for the fridge, pop open a bottle and toast yourself on what an incredible woman you are.

Wishing all you single ladies a fabulous Christmas and if you’ve got a single friend; go tell her she’s amazing and send her this as a reminder that if she feels this way…she is human!

#Christmas #positivity #beinghuman

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